11.30.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 12:30 pm by Randy
The Boss calls me.
“Hey, I wanted to update you. Fiber Guy will be out at 4:00PM today to survey the area. Thought you’d want to know.”
She went on to tell me that the guy’s rates are $150/hour. Sheesh, I can do fiber optic (I may not be as quick and polished as this guy, but freaking 150 bucks an hour, that’s nuts). I almost want to ask him if he’s using single-mode or multi-mode fiber, just to show him I got my geek chops. Of course he’s going to use SM because it’s a lot cheaper and easier to terminate. (see, I got my chops, I do…)
Now, we still have to wait until next Wednesday for the Mr. Flaky (if he decides to show up), so we’ll see how Fiber Guy works out.
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Posted in Money at 8:29 am by Randy
According to the escrow agent, as of 9AM Pacific this morning I will no longer own a house. I will instead own a heap of cash sitting in a non-interest-bearing checking account.
You can see where I’m going with this.
This represents a big milestone in my life. Suddenly, my cost of living drops through the floor, and our credit obligations are wiped out. Now I’m faced with the somewhat enjoyable, but no less daunting, task of finding vehicles to invest the cash in such a way that we can move on buying an income property in the near future and grow the rest of it at a goodly clip. Not talking junk bonds or penny stocks, but probably something more than an S&P index fund.
Perhaps even more important is the need to re-commit to a healthy financial lifestyle, one that’s more “Rich Dad” than “Poor Dad” in nature.
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11.29.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 3:25 pm by Randy
I want so much to be able to shrug off the Internet melancholy that has settled on me. It’s a phantom limb when I’m at home, an itch I’m unable to scratch that inexorably leads down the road to bitterness. Getting the guild website put on our new hosting helped considerably; I was so busy doing the work, I wasn’t thinking about not having broadband at home. Happily, the move went pretty smoothly; unfortunately, the smooth transition means I’m back to sulking.
We’re back to the cycle of calling Clueless Broadband for updates. The latest round now has it that Mr. Flaky will come out and install the antenna and solar panels up at the vineyard; then a new character, we’ll dub Fiber Guy for now, will run the fiber optic line from the antenna site down to the house.
Here’s the kicker, they have it scheduled for next Wednesday. Like everything with them is “just one more week” away.
At first, my mind spins and I want to scream, “WHY THE HELL AM I BEING FORCED TO WAIT YET ANOTHER WEEK?” Then I settle back into the sullen funk and decide that there’s just no fighting this right now. Clueless Broadband has its reasons, just none of them are satisfactory. It would probably be that some other “equipment” will need to be shipped from wherever in order to be sniped by some other installer, pushing us further and further behind until the sun explodes and we all die.
This melancholy is toxic, it’s the bad cholesterol of my mind. What’s truly despicable is that I’ve been reduced to a mere shell of a geek, and that I realize that I’ve been thus diminished. I am a wretch.
There was literally a span of two weeks where I quit shaving in some idiotic form of protest against my perceived injustice. Ridiculous. I finally got tired of scratching at the beard and shaved it back to my goatee. I don’t know how Nate can do the chops, I’d be pulling them off the side of my head, leaving bloody gouges where my fingernails ripped the flesh off my jaw.
Yup, I got it bad. I’m having Internet hallucinations. I start to imagine what fun things I’ll do when I get broadband at home; then once I remind myself that there’s no telling when that’s going to happen, I stop the dreaming and just sit and stare at the flat panel in my office. In the evenings, I’ve taken to reading any and all Warcraft novels I can buy when I’m at a civilized bookstore. When I’m not reading those, I read through various Forgotten Realms books or even sci-fi. I even read Starship Troopers for the first time. Nothing like the movie, but I liked it nonetheless, perhaps more so because Denise Richards wasn’t in it.
So there you have it: Internet withdrawal is taking it’s toll on me. I don’t imagine I’ll ever be clean and sober, since I drink greedily at the Internet teat when I’m at work (such as now). But when I get out of the car and walk into the house I feel the desolation return, it might happen right away, or it might take until the last light has been turned off for the night.
Take it from me friends: you don’t want to go without Internet this long.
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11.27.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 9:39 am by Randy
So, the shine of last week has worn off. After a quick burst of activity before the holiday, all has been silent from Clueless Broadband Co. This is pretty much to be expected for a long holiday weekend, but it didn’t improve my mood.
Another thing not improving my mood is out P.O.S. propane generator. The daily ritual of running the genset had been my lot for the first couple months of our existence at the ranch. However, once the solar was installed, we have been really fortunate not to need it more than once or twice. Fast forward to yesterday, where it rained all day, and the batteries were put upon to provide us electricity without the daily boost from the solar panels. The Boss and I agreed that it was time to run the generator for a couple hours to ensure that the batteries were topped off, and so I shuffled out behind the garage to the little lean-to our solar installer built over the genset. I went to turn it over and…
No love. The stupid thing just cranks and cranks until you smell the stinky odorant that is added to the propane. Of course, a couple days earlier on Thanksgiving Day I complained about the generator’s inability to start to my brother-in-law (my sister’s husband, not The Boss’s brother, dubbed BIL) and then went to demonstrate the shortcoming to him.
The generator started on the first try.
So I can only suppose that the generator will only start and run when it’s warm and dry out, which is diametrically opposed to the type of whether that we need the generator (i.e. cold and damp).
/me sighs
The generator is not the only activity of the weekend, oh no. With the aforementioned BIL and one of my nephews, we managed to get the WWII-vintage Jeep out of the garage and safely tucked in the carport down the hill a bit. Those Jeeps were so simple, as BIL put it, “it runs on three wires.” No kidding, it really does. However, it also runs on six volts instead of twelve. That’s a problem, since the battery was as dead as a doorstop. Also, the brake cylinder had no fluid to speak of, so a good deal of time was spent filling and (attempting to) bleed the brakes.
As mechanically inept as I am, even I could work on this Jeep. It’s probably the easiest machine to comprehend I’ve ever seen.
Of course, getting the Jeep out of the garage was still not the end of the fun. We also peeled a huge amount of plastic off of my motorcycle, in order to replace the dead battery on it as well. After many body panels and bolts removed, we managed to replace it; however, the battery I had bought to replace it had sat for a long time, and thus was not up to the job of cajoling the bike to life. We left it as-is, so that I could either recharge or replace (again) the battery and really get the motorcycle running (so I can sell it with great prejudice).
/me sighs again
So, here we are on Monday, I have a Jeep that doesn’t run sitting in front of a motorcycle mostly taken apart (also not running), and a fussy generator that only operates in the most idyllic of circumstances. My mechanical Karma seems to be trumped only by my Internet Karma.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention that we signed the papers to really sell the house in San Jose. We are merely days away from getting a lot of money, thereby changing our lifestyle considerably. If Clueless Broadband Co. doesn’t deliver in the next week, one of my contingency plans includes buying the equipment (solar, batteries, long-haul repeater) and installing in my own antenna site up at the vineyard, at which point I will call one of Clueless Broadband’s competitors and have them install their broadband service instead. I may actually invite local journalists to write a story about my experience, since as you’ve all read over the months, you just can’t make this stuff up.
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11.21.06
Posted in Generic at 12:25 pm by Randy
So, I started posting forum entries (lighly abridged) from my guild web site. They detail the “adventure” (for want of a better term) of my family’s quest for broadband, in whatever form it might be. Having read and re-read these entries, I have made sure that the names have been changed to protect the guilty, and to ensure the lack of libelous content. Apologies in advance for some language, I lost my composure on a few occasions.
It basically spells out our trials and tribulations, from mid-summer to now, that my family has gone through to get broadband to our somewhat remote house, located in the hills of eastern Sonoma County. Let this serve as a lesson to those who claim that broadband is widely available and competitive…
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Posted in Rant, Rural at 9:06 am by Randy
The Boss IM’d me a few moments ago to let me know that Mr. Flaky called and actually treated us like customers. He let us know that he’s tracking the FedEx shipment containing our equipment, and that, as soon as he has it in hand, he’s coming out to start work on installing it.
Naturally, I’m skeptical, but this is the first time that Mr. Flaky has called us unsolicited to update us on the status of things. I’m wondering if the email I sent has shaken something loose over at Clueless Broadband Co. I certainly meant every word of it, including how I was going to approach the newspapers with the Story of the Century (or at least, the story of the week). I would describe the pitch to you guys, but since you’ve read the “blog”, you already have all of my source material that I’d use.
I’ll give up-to-the-minute details as things progress (or don’t progress, as I’m still way to cynical to start believing in Broadband Claus).
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11.20.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 2:43 pm by Randy
The following is an email that I just sent to the owner of the broadband company.
[business owner],
I am assuming that you are the owner of [umbrella company], including [wireless broadband company]. I have written this to discuss some grave concerns regarding how your business is run.
Having just gotten off the phone with my wife [The Boss], I am now at my wits end, and thus bring my appeal to you directly. This is regarding having your wireless broadband product installed at [Randy’s Home Address]
My wife and I have patiently (perhaps too patiently) waited since our first scheduled consultation with [wireless broadband company] on October 2 to engage with you and solve our broadband needs. The events of the last few days have now upset us both to the point that we’re questioning the quality of service of just about *any* Internet Service Provider in Sonoma County.
[The Boss] mentioned in our last phone conversation (today, around 2PM) that she spoke with you regarding how equipment that is supposedly being set aside for us is being diverted for other installations. The fact that we’ve been delayed repeatedly (the install has moved from Thursday, Nov.16th at 10am, then Sunday, Nov. 19th at noon, then Tuesday, November 21 at 9am, now Tuesday, Nov. 21 “sometime in the afternoon”) angers me. Now I don’t particularly care what the circumstances are, but the situation appears to me (and somewhat to my wife) that [wireless broadband company] doesn’t want our business. I’ll remind you that we’ve been waiting since the beginning of October, and we’re now approaching Thanksgiving. During this time, we’ve been verbally given dates and times to expect people, and as the process has worn on, the reliability (or lack thereof) of your employees is such that I no longer believe anything that they tell me or my wife. That is a terrible situation, to have prospective subscribers no longer believe your promises or your claims. It is truly a blow to a company’s brand and standing, not to mention poisoning the business relationship.
I’m trying to weigh my options here, and there aren’t many, and none of them are terribly fun for anyone involved. I am now seriously considering lodging a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, consulting reporters for local newspapers (including the Press Democrat and the Sonoma Index-Tribune), and going even as far as starting my own wireless broadband company so that I can show everyone in Sonoma County how it should be done. What saddens me is that this should never, never have gotten to this point.
Once again, we’ve been told (and I’m not particularly inclined to believe) that your installer [Mr. Flaky] will be out to our property tomorrow afternoon. My desire is that you manage to get the equipment, even if it means driving across the bay area to get it, and get someone up to our property to start working on it before end of business today (November 20). If you desire to have an up front, honest relationship with your customers and subscribers, please do whatever you personally can to see that this happens. A renewable energy installer that my wife and I know and have done business with once said to me, “you guys don’t deserve excuses, you shouldn’t have to listen to the excuses of my employees; you deserve results.” I now ask that you provide results.
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Posted in Rant, Rural at 9:27 am by Randy
Why do my installments start with weather these days? I suppose it’s just the season. Anyhow, today started with fog and high clouds. It’s beautiful the way that the fog is down in the valley below us and the high clouds catch the sunrise. A visual treat denied those who are waking up down in the fog. I guess that’s the benefit of living up in the mountains.
The weekend was generally gorgeous, the road up to the ranch is now paved, partly with asphalt, partly with a mix of rock and some kind of non-organic sediment. What makes it “interesting” is that with the occasional rain last week, the non-asphalt part has become somewhat akin to an ice skating rink. That’s makes for some frayed nerves, especially that one of the steeper parts of the road is paved with this mucky stuff. The good news on that front is that the repeated driving up and down the hill has created some “less mucky” tire tracks, and so the ruts in the road begin.
So, I wasn’t going to bitch and moan about broadband, but I read through all my previous installments, and this one just fits the mold so nicely, I had to mention it.
Friday afternoon, the broadband people called The Boss and the owner of the company was on the phone along with the installer (to whom we’re inclined to nickname Mr. Flaky) and told The Boss that Mr. Flaky would be out on Sunday at noon to do the install.
Right.
So Saturday comes, we rent a nice big trailer and head down to San Jose one last time to pack the rest of the garage. I do a dump run, we load the motorcycle into the trailer, the rest of the crap goes in the back and we drive to Lafayette to have a birthday dinner with my mother-in-law. After a bit of a visit, it’s now getting late and we drive back up to Sonoma. We get just shy of the Napa/Sonoma county border when there’s a HUGE backup. I was on the cell phone headset to The Boss (we were in separate cars) and I told her, “I bet they closed the goddamn highway and are turning around cars.” Sure enough, the sheriff drove down toward us, turning everyone around. So we had to go back down south to Vallejo and cut across east to Infineon Raceway just to head north again, adding pretty much another hour to our travel time.
We arrive home on Saturday night around 10:15 PM exhausted, but at least we’re completely done with the house in San Jose. All we need to do is wait for the paperwork to settle out and we’ll have a heap of money to transform our lives.
I wake up Sunday, trying very hard not to think about the fact that supposedly Mr. Flaky will show up and start us on the road to Internet civilization. The morning went OK, I returned the trailer, came back and cooked a whole pound of bacon and fried eggs for the family.
Then the appointed hour for Mr. Flaky came…
…and went. No show, no call, no reply to voicemail, nothing.
I am so tired of being right about this.
Fast forward to this morning. We get a call from Mr. Flaky, claiming he didn’t have our contact info, nor did he have the equipment needed to do the install. Then he goes on to claim that the equipment wasn’t even there, and won’t show up until this morning! He finishes by stating that he’ll be out tomorrow (Tuesday) at 9am to start work.
I smell a rat. A huge rat, that looks and smells like Mr. Flaky.
This is exactly the same line of bullcrap fed to us by the first wireless broadband flunky company that we tried to sign up with.
“Oh, the equipment will be here tomorrow.”
“Oh, did I say tomorrow, I really meant next week.”
“Oh, did I say next week, actually we’ll call you when it comes in.”
And while The Boss and I are left with our heads in our hands, these retards strut around claiming they’re all about customer service. I’m now seriously considering a call to the BBB or ValueStar or some other consumer advocacy group that can basically warn other people away from using these Internet Snake Oil salesmen.
At any rate, we’re now set adrift again. Once again, we’re stuck in the purgatory of waiting for someone to come along and deem us worthy. It’s incredibly depressing that I need to rely on drooling retards in order to get broadband. I’d much rather put my money into a company that knows what they’re doing, knows how to manage a supply chain, and knows how to deal up front and honestly with their customers and prospective clients.
Anybody know of any?
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11.16.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 11:30 am by Randy
You guys are not going to believe this (or, perhaps, you will)…
So, another rainy day today, much lighter than Monday. The road has been mostly paved (the majority with crushed rock and gravel, only the driveway in front of our house shines black with asphalt). No birds are singing up at the ranch, they are all hunkered down in the misty, foggy dew that is “light rain” in the North Bay.
Last night, I spent about an hour clearing out room in my crowded office to make space for whatever equipment the wireless broadband people would bring. Despite my now well-exercised cynical slant toward this (and basically every other) wireless broadband company’s track record with us, I was preparing for the “zero hour”, “T-minus Internet”, or even just seeing “Linky Light” on my router. The Boss joked that “you must be getting excited about this.” I answered, “yes, but only cautious optimism.”
Today I woke up, tried hard not to think about the fact that I had mentally pegged this day in my mind: today is “Internet Day”, the end of the hunger strike, the resumption of my online life (at least after working hours).
But alas, my friends, it is not to be.
Today’s excuse: the installer has the flu. To be honest, I should have expected this. In fact, this feeling is now so familiar, I almost can’t imagine not being let down in this manner, again and again. I can only imagine that, had we gotten them to schedule us earlier in the week, we would be basking in megabits of luscious Internet goodness. But we had road work to be done, and so now it’s “no dice” all over again.
When The Boss called to tell me the news, I laughed, loud. It was perhaps the only response I could come up with, unless I was prepared to weep and scream openly in front of my coworkers. I am so very bitter, so beaten and bruised by this wicked process, I just don’t know where to turn. There is always the “S-word” broadband option, but we shan’t speak its name. Too slow for too much money, and too much latency to play MMO or talk on VoIP or you-name-it. Where else can you spend hundreds of dollars for equipment and installation just to spend three (or more) times what people two miles away from me spend per month for cable modems or DSL, while getting a fraction of the speed? Hmmm, sounds like a deal, not.
So I’m left with this: it probably means that we won’t get broadband before Thanksgiving at this rate. Honestly, no one knows how or when we’ll get service started. I can only wonder at how many people have managed to get broadband in the weeks that I waited patiently for them to get around to us. Who else could possibly be in the queue ahead of us at this point? Are there other folks out there in our area who are still pining for broadband, having waited for nearly four months, with little or no other alternative than the pathetic backwater reality of dial-up?
What on Earth is it going to take?
I’m going to go buy a flash drive and download the WoW 1.12 patch to it. Why? Because I have to look forward to something, otherwise I’m going to implode.
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11.13.06
Posted in Rant, Rural at 1:17 pm by Randy
Apparently The Boss has negotiated with both parties to see to it that Thursday is left open for the Internet peoples to come and break our fast for broadband, and that Friday will be Road Paving Day.
Perhaps it’s another karmic tease? Only time will tell.
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